One late night in December 1997, as I was getting ready to sleep, I started thinking that something is missing in my life. I have everything I wanted- family, health, house, friends, education and a good job, small business, even investments, etc- but PEACE. I felt empty. I prayed for a renewed relationship with God, even better than it was 10 years ago, before I became consumed in making my dreams come true.

God did not waste time and started answering that prayer in ways that left me broken in every area of my life and on my knees many times before Him.


" Free from Drug Addiction without Rehab"

Within few days after that night, I've met these two brothers in their 30's and whom I've known to be using drugs since their teen years, in and out of rehab and even prison lately. They came to pick up my sister in law to join them at their new church. I was surprised to see them look healthy, peaceful and actually made sense when I talked to them. They've been free from drug addiction without rehab and very active in church.

"God if this is Evil, Save Me."

Everything was too good to be true. They were too happy to see me join them. Most of them slept on the floor while they insisted I sleep on a bed in a room. They have lots of good food too and they won't take my offer to help with the expenses. For me actually I observed out of curiosity and it was too obvious that few of them shared with me their personal stories to convince me- a retired army healed from cancer, two husbands freed from drugs and alcohol, marriages restored.

I prayed to God "God if this is evil, save me. You are greater than all of them combined. But if this is your answer to my prayer, help me overcome my confusion. I want you to convince me, not them. Talk to me, I don't want to lose you."

"You Shall Have No Other Gods Before Me."

I have no idea where to find answers, not having read the Bible before. That same day, I believed God led me to these verses.... Isaiah 44:9-20, Isaiah 46:5-7, Exodus 20:3-6, John 4:24, Acts 17:24-25 and later days led me to more verses. These are all about idolatry and religious images. What convicted me the most was Exodus 20:3-6 and this is a portion..."You Shall Have No Other Gods Before Me." The only of Ten Commandments with punishment attached to it affecting up to 4 generations. For a few weeks, I did not go to church but destroyed all images in my house and only prayed to the Holy Trinity in spirit and truth as in John 4:24. Then, one of my closest friends at work whom I've found out to be a Christian invited me to her church. I was afraid till I walked in to the church and felt peace and so at home. The experiences that followed were just beyond me.

"Why Me?"

Over the next three years, I lost everything I have -diagnosed with a heart problem and a breast tumor, lost my family, closed business, most friends lost interest, sold house, investments dropped, father died, accidents and ER visits and finally moved to a new job and a new place where I know not a soul. Before, I asked a lot of "Why me?". But now I can say it turned out to be the best times of my life. I've experienced time and time again God's mercy, goodness and unfailing love. Now, in the midst and through all trials, I've experienced God's peace and God is restoring even more than I lost. It all started when I asked Jesus into my life and to make me the person that He wants me to be.

"5 Deadly C's"

I still feel ashamed and uncomfortable when God make me aware of my sins, weaknesses, and imperfections. But God is faithful to convict, to forgive and to remove my guilt and unrighteousness. He is still transforming me from 5 deadly C's- criticizing, complaining, condemning, controlling, comparing to His 5 P's- praying, providing, praising, being patient and being present for others. He is also changing me from my self effort, self promotion and selfish ambition to humility, God-centered living, listen more than speak, finding good in others and in every situation. I now guard my thoughts with God's help by choosing what I allow to my mind- TV shows, radio programs, printed materials, situations, places. If it takes away my peace and focus on God, I stay away from it. I also found out that of all the sinners during the time of Jesus, only the Pharisees were the one he openly rebuked. That my self-righteous attitude of thinking myself better than others because I followed the law, not giving up my old beliefs and not putting my faith in Jesus is worse than the cheating tax collector, the adulterous Samaritan, the thief dying on the cross next to Jesus.

I also learned that loving God with all of my mind means I need to give up everything I learned and believed since childhood that does not agree with the Bible. Yes, including those I learned from my family, school, books and people who influenced my thinking through out my life.

I also keep short account with God. I confess daily and as soon as I get convicted of sin. I am now a new creation not slave to sin. It did not happened overnight but I am more patient and peaceful than before.

"Why They Keep Reading The Bible...Boring."

Before, I used to wonder, "Why they keep reading the Bible? For one thing, no pictures and it seem boring." And God help me overcome that too. God has answered a lot of my questions and still do. When I get 4-5 messages on the same subject from different sources in a week, it is not coincidence. God wanted to show me His truth and reveal Himself more than I desire to seek it. God¡¯s love for me is without condition or reservation. He waited patiently for me to turn to Him. No matter what I have done or failed to do or what I have become from being away from Him, He still wanted me back.

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